La Vida Wanker

La Vida Wanker

Friday, September 10, 2010


Note: If you know how to add captions to photos, please let me know. Also, I'll be revealing the Pro Wanker kit design this week. And finally, some Gateway Videos will be posted this week. Stay posted, Wankers.
I’ve slept in an assortment of odd places—on a shelf, in a closet, in a bed with two other guys, in a bed with two guys and a girl, and on many a floor. (Heaven praise the collegiate season.)

However, I’ve never slept in a place quite as seedy as the Day’s Inn off of Lindberg Blvd, STL.

Imagine for you a moment you’re a pedophile. In looking for a hotel, you’d want to keep your drugged and kidnapped child somewhat amused. (You don't want him calling the cops, do you?) So a kid-friendly pool would be nice. And so would be a jungle gym. You’d also want your privacy. So the place would be easily accessed without arousing suspicion.

Well, pedophiles, the Day’s Inn Lindberg, STL has all the above and more!

Easy entry? With no external doors—check! Child amusement? With a full size pool and arcade—check! Privacy? With soundproof cinder block walls—check!

Thankfully, I’m over 18 and no pedophile. So while the Day’s Inn may be many a boy’s night
mare, it was just another motel for me.

But was the Gateway Cup just another weekend of racing?

As has been repeatedly said, bike racing’s beauty lies in the carnival. From
the staying in shitty motels to the pinning of race numbers and kisses from overweight "podium" girls, bike racing is about the process, the carnival.

As a member of IsCorp, I’m thankful to be part of the wildest carnival around. Between Tom Petty (JoKo), our resident Canadian (Josh G), Jesus (Jon Cook), the Brach (Brian Rach) and Weisenhoofen, something stupid is always going on. And when you throw me and a team junior in the mix. Well, heaven save us.

But beyond the regulars, Gateway was great. Seeing the Aussies is always solid. Despite the fact Owen has yet to return my final pair of Pro Wanker booties, I can’t help but love him. And Wez—he’s always a pleasure to see.

Mainly though, this weekend was made wonderful by our resident Hill Billy, Colton Barrett. Need more be said?

Ok, it wasn't all that great. The final
crit course had upward of a thousand turns—and many of them were right turns, the most difficult for me. And Sunday's course had an uphill tailwind section. And heaven knows I hate uphill headwinds. But really, since when have I gone to a bike race to actually race my bike?

Mainly, it’s still hard to believe summer has reached its inevitable end. But as a member of a slowly and painfully dying profession (journalism, wankers), it is nice to see something go out with a bang, rather than a whimper.

So summer—it was great knowing you. And Gateway—you were a great way to end the season.

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