Another Pre-Post Race Update

Kaleb is Fast

While my grammar is lacking, and my vocabulary decreases with each college “recreational” activity I partake in, I still have some standards. So papers that begin with “Merriam-Webster defines creative as ‘relating to or involving the creation of original ideas’” still make me cringe.

In advance, I apologize for the next few sentences. I realize they are no better than the above quoted. Anyway, here it goes: They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So if a video is shot at 30 fps (frames per second) and lasts around 16 seconds... you do the math. And by math, I mean click on the video of me cheering on as Kaleb Koch makes good on a terrific leadout from teammate Petey Davis and wins the Dixon 3/4 race.

Stupid is What Stupid Does

Most people are dumb. Some people are exceptionally stupid. Case in point: man goes looking for ghost train and is killed by the real thing. No joke.

Thankfully, some people are really smart: “Kyle Dubois and his parents claim teacher Thomas Kelley did not warn Dubois and other students of the dangers of the electrical demonstration cords in their electrical trades class. On March 11, Dubois attached an electrical clamp to one nipple while another student attached another clamp to the other. A third student plugged in the cord.”

Oops. I guess not.

ABR-FIAC Grand National Four Man Team Time Trial

I love wanker races—ones with skewed payouts or crazy terrain. Think Wank the Lake or Great Egyptian Omnium. One of the biggest wanker races of all is the ABR Four Man Team Time Trial.

There was a time when team trials were respected and considered prestigious. But to coincide with my existence, they were made irrelevant by the UCI, IOC... The discipline is now shunned—occasionally included in the Tour but mostly mocked in the Vuelta. Essentially, we’re left with the ABR National World FIAC Championship. And I’m looking for a team. So if you're interested in winning and wanking it up, hit me up.

Death of Summer

The approach of school makes me sad. Yes, I love the NU Cycling Team and think the MWCCC (CCCCCCCp) is the greatest thing ever. But still, I’ll miss summer. I’ll miss weekends that last long into night. I’ll miss the racers. Heck, I may even miss some of the races. But let’s be honest: I’ll mostly miss the warm weather. Winter sucks.