La Vida Wanker

La Vida Wanker

Monday, August 9, 2010

Two Too Many

For a long time, people have questioned me. Maybe it’s my flamboyant, pink Snuggie or the white Pro Wanker bibs. It might even be my weekend wardrobe. Regardless of origin, a rumour persists. While I may often mislead, I rarely lie. So it’s about time I come out of the closet: I time my posts to get linked to on Chicagobikeracing.com. Yes, a blogger blogging to gain the attention of another blogger. How cool.

Two-a-days are terrible. But just how terrible?

Imagine eating a slice of pie. Let’s pretend it’s key lime pie. But not just any key lime pie, this is Joe Stone Crab’s Key Lime Pie. For the unacquainted, with each bite, there is an explosion of tart tempered by the buttery crumbling of graham cracker crust. A single sliver equal an addiction.

(Trust me; I’m fat.)


One slice is very good. For when you finish the last fork-full, the taste is amplified by a desire for more. You are not full. Your belly yearns for more. And this desire mingles with the residual taste. You find yourself in love.

Heck, one whole pie can be good. You may be full, but you want more. You think you can handle the load.

Unfortunately though, after so many bites, pleasure turns to pain. Two pies in a single day may just be too much.

Likewise, two races in a single day can be just too much. Especially when one race is a 40k TT.

A 40K First

Coming into the WI State TT Championship, my expectations were low. The previous week of training was double my regular volume. (8 v.s. 4 hrs=tired.) Additionally, I had skipped breakfast while looking for my TT bike, car keys and wheels.

Thankfully, my good luck did not end on the driveway. With my exit closed, I embarked on a risky detour leaving me with just enough time to register, kit-up and ride to the start-line. As usual, there would be no warmup.

And as usual, there would be nothing but jeering at the start-line. While I managed to stay upright, the acceleration was painfully slow and labored. But as they say of trains, once up to speed, I was not stopping.

(That is, for anything but turns. They require super slow speed on my aero or die setup.)

Slowly and determinedly, I passed my minute-man and his minute-man. Naturally, I dropped my chain on a course that required no shifting from big to little ring. But the bumps were not mountains and I crossed the line in 53:04, enough for second place in the 1/2s.

Not surprisingly, the jeers turned into quizzical stares when the crowd paired the bike with the boy.

(Another kid who had a great ride: Jordan Cullen as pictured right. He killed the 20k.)

Next Up: Critification

From Wisconsin, I made the drive home to wash and pickup my road bike for the Grayslake Crit.

For those who have never raced the event, the course looks something like the Ten Commandments. With that in mind, I donned my Project 69 Pro Wanker booties and skinsuit.

And with IsCorp fielding six riders (including myself), I was fairly certain that we could do some damage.

Our plan was simple: Attack and win. From the gun, we hit the field. Our big guns attacked, James and Chazz hid in the field and I used my girth and height to block all lines of sight and movement.

With Kyle Jacobson and Tristan off the front but within sight, blocking became crucial. The field was having none of it though. Bryan McVey (ReCycling), Death (the Kenda rider), Stathy (Albertos) and Sachs (VQ) traded attacks wearing us thin.

But for 60 minutes we held strong. No man escaped off the front.

Suddenly, Death attacks. Fearing his sprint, I was unwilling to let him escape unescorted—lest he bridge to my teammates. Following my wheel, a xXx racer closed the final meters and joined Death.

As I latched on, I hit the right turn. Sadly, I was having difficulty turning right and braked too much. Quickly, I was dropped.

Upon reintegration with the field, I exploded. My legs and heart were empty. Thankfully, Chazz, Alex and James took up the pace and managed to bring back the small chase.

While Stathy, Otte (unattached) and a xXx rider escaped in the closing minutes of the race, we finished 1,2,6,7 and 10th. It was a successful day.

So yes, two pies may be too much for me. But two races? Maybe not.






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