La Vida Wanker

La Vida Wanker

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Secondhand Smoke Kills

Please note: The following may read as a man crush. And to a certain extent, it is. However, that should not detract from the content of the post—SpiderMonkey is a dangerous and fast man. Approach with extreme caution; he will ride your legs off.

A legend is coming to Ohio. And three days from now, they will know his name.

But for now, he spins his web discretely and anonymously—quietly borrowing a TT bike, choosing his wheels, and gluing his tires.

This week is just like any other. He does not bother with peaking or carb loading. For him, they are unncessary distractions, affectations at best. At dinner, he eats raw meat and uncooked roughage. The more blood, the better. For training, he races and then heads out for more riding—be it raining or not. Intervals are for the gentically handicapped, he says.

And right now, his competition knows nothing of him. They are sleeping or eating or riding. But whatever they are doing, they are alive and without the fear. They prepare for their race thinking victory is possible. They have hope

But not for long.

For this Friday, a legend is coming to Ohio. And three days from now, they will know his name—it will be adorning his borrowed TT bike.

He is the SpiderMonkey. And yes, he will rape and pillage your village without remorse.

No comments:

Post a Comment