La Vida Wanker

La Vida Wanker

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Vignettes from Dairyland

Caution! These somewhat fictional sketches require a bit of imagination—each is an impression from Fairyland 2010 and no single scene provides enough context for understanding. Regardless of the many lies and unavoidable confusion, each provides the emotional reality that was Dairyland for Tim, Scott, Brad, and Weston.

Hunger Pains—Summerfest

Note: This post is best understood while listening to "The Reeling" by Passion Pit.

“I need to pee,” he cries. “I’m about to piss my pants.”

“Well, look around. Do you see any bathrooms?” he says sarcastically while tugging at his V neck.

“No,” begging now, “but you’ve got to find me one, Two Finger.”

As easy lyrics from Everythings Gonna Be Alright glide through the air, the four find a bathroom. Ten urinals line the wall and each row of drunken and bladder-bursting men agitates forward in step. As the cycling shirt nears his destination, he exits. Too many people, he thinks. To the stall!

But the stalls are occupied and will be for long. In one, two womenfolk disappear to the great chagrin of the crowd. Into the next, a wheelchair-bound man rolls.

So the cycling shirt returns to the rows, relieves himself and begins his walk out. Slowly, a warm and rank breeze rouses trash from the ground as he exits. Its source is baffling, but its heat grows near.

With the force and gravity of an astronomical event, the cycling shirt is smashed into the brick wall. Mounds of flesh collide and snap his neck back. In his ears, “Don’t worry about a thing/Cause every little thing gonna be all right” sounds. But against an open mouth and wart-ridden wandering hands, it rings hollow.

On U.S. Cellular stadium, The Reeling is played. Against the brick and her gelatinous form, he feels the madness inch by inch. He tries to run, but he cannot resist. So he prays, he sings, “Now I’m dreaming somebody/Would simply come and kidnap me, oh no, oh no.”

No comments:

Post a Comment